The Hollow Men - Episode 21
Drew learns the fate of Skeleton Dog, meets Skeleton Man, Drew’s mom wakes up screaming, the oil/gas industry takes a hard downward turn, and Drew becomes an uncle.
Last week in Episode 20 Uncle Bill is nervous, warns Rick and Drew to keep an eye on things, Rick gets t-boned on the wide streets of Odessa, Matt Johnson is nervous too, and Drew notices a change in Rick.
The Hollow Men is the second collection of not quite true tales of Texas. If you have recently subscribed and like to read things from the very beginning feel free to start with The Cold Days of Summer, the first collection of not quite true tales of Texas. Each episode of The Cold Days of Summer and The Hollow Men contains a link to the previous and next episode so you can easily move through the story line.
And… if you are the type who notices things and are wondering if there is more than two collection of not quite true tales of Texas, the answer is yes. More on that subtle hint in later episodes.
Skeleton dog and Skeleton man
On September 16, 1982 I found what out happened to Skeleton dog.
Sometime that night I woke up in a new field, different from the field where Tommy was and different from the field where I had last seen Skeleton dog. It was a dark, clear sky, but there wasn’t a star to be seen. It was cold and windy and as I walked I became chilled. I didn’t know where I was walking or why I was walking. It just seemed important to be walking.
After awhile the darkness began to lift and I began to see where I was and where I was going. I was in the middle of what seemed like an endless field. I was going towards a small clump of trees in the distance and I knew that someone or something awaited me there.
I was right. Skeleton dog and a friend of his were waiting for me. When I was about a hundred yards away I heard a deep, resonant “hello” drift across the field to me. I said my own hello in return, waved back and kept walking. Skeleton dog lay on the ground. He/she lifted his head up as I arrived and his/her bony tail wagged at me. His/her friend his hand to me. His hand was nothing but bones, just like the rest of him and that’s how I met Skeleton man.
“Hello, Drew, my name’s Stan. Hope you like it here.”
I stared at Skeleton man, a complete, living, walking, talking skeleton of a man.
“Stan, you’re kidding me, you’re name is Stan?”
“Yeah, Stan, Stan’s my name. What’s wrong with that?”
“It’s just that, Stan, Stan the Skeleton man, it rhymes. That seems a little too neat.”
“Okay, okay, laugh if you want, but that’s my name. But making jokes about my name isn’t why you’re here.”
“Point taken, just where am I?”
“It all depends on you.”
“What does that mean?”
“Your state of mind determines where you are. So, where do you think you are?”
“In the middle of a field talking to a skeleton.”
“Well, I was looking for a more meaningful answer than that, but for now that will have to do.”
I looked down at Skeleton dog and asked him/her “I thought we were done. I found and forgave Daisy’s killer. Do you need something else from me?”
Skeleton dog wagged his/her tail affirmatively but didn’t say anything. Instead the Skeleton man who called himself Stan spoke.
“Drew, you forgave, and that’s good. You let some things go that had been festering you and that’s even better. Remember when you were younger and your Mom told you to forgive and forget?”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“Any reason you don’t apply that lesson more often?”
“Man, I try, but it’s hard sometimes.”
“Of course, it’s hard. No one said it wouldn’t be. But that’s not an excuse to not do it. Look, Drew, a lot of us have been talking this over and we decided you need a little more constructive help and that’s where I come in. Look at me, look at my arm.”
I did. His arm began to change, muscle and tissue began to form over the bone, then skin until his right forearm became whole.
“I can be whole, just like you. But just like you, I’m not. Here’s how it’s going to be. I represent you, and right now there’s not a lot to you, you’re far from being whole. You need to figure out what it means to be whole and how to become whole and until you do, you’re incomplete and I am a skeleton man.”
“I don’t understand the point of this.”
“You seem to have trouble recognizing your own state. We thought if you had something to more easily recognize where you are, you might take a more proactive approach to your life. Up till now, your life just happens to you. You take a little bit of an active role, but you don’t take responsibility for your life. Our thought is that if you have a good mirror of your inner state, and that mirror is me, you would work to complete yourself.”
“I still don’t understand what’s going on. Who is we? And what else do I have to do for Skeleton dog?”
“Who we are doesn’t matter, all that really matters is there is someone who cares about you, who cares about your inner as well as your outer state. You’re not alone, even though you think and act like you are. You are not alone.
“As for Skeleton dog, take a look at him. He’s been waiting for you to show up.”
Skeleton dog began to change and I realized he was a she. She was Daisy and I watched as muscle and tissue formed over bone, then skin and hair formed over muscle and tissue and then she was whole once more. Daisy walked over to me, wagging her tail fiercely. I knelt down to her and she licked my face as I held her head in my hands. Right then, I was as happy as I’ve ever been. Daisy was whole. I stood up, and as I did she stood on her hind legs, resting her front legs on my shoulders. I rubber her flanks as she stood against me. She was a happy dog.
“You forgave Daisy’s killer and that action, that act of letting go your anger made Daisy whole and now she can rest. She’s at peace because you’ve made peace with her death, her killer. She needed you to do this because she knew it would be a long time before Dale and the rest of her family could let go of the pain. She needed you and you did fine.”
Daisy dropped down to the ground, ran around me twice, barking and dancing. Then she stopped, sniffed the air, cocked her ear as if she was listening to something, then ran away into the distance.
“Where’s she’s going?”
“Where she needs to be.”
“Stan, could you be more vague?”
“Yes, I could. Daisy is going to where she needs to be, what more do you need to know than that?”
“Why did I have to wait so long to see Skeleton dog, I mean Daisy? It doesn’t seem fair to her.”
“Three months ago you verbally forgave Daisy’s killer, but you just said the words. You really didn’t believe them. Even then, the words had power for Daisy’s killer. She was able to let go of her guilt when you forgave her. But you didn’t let go of your anger, not until now. I don’t know if you ever noticed, but saying the words is rarely enough, it is just a start. You said the words to her, but you also said the words to the world. That’s a big step, and saying those words allowed your mind to quit fiercely holding onto the anger. Day by day, your grip weakened, and while it took nearly a full three months, you finally let go of your memory, of your anger. When you did that, when you finally let go of your anger and your memory of it, Daisy was freed.”
“Still, that doesn’t seem fair, for Daisy to be stuck as Skeleton dog, waiting for me to forgive and forget.” As I said that my mind flashed back to all the times my Mom said to me those same words.
“You’re not the only one in the world, Drew. Daisy wasn’t just waiting on you. She’s was waiting on all those who loved her to let go of their anger. Just turns out she thought, and she was right, you would be the easiest to work with. She’s been reaching out to all those who loved her, but some aren’t ready to listen, some think they’re just having a strange dream and some aren’t ready at all. She suspected you would be the easiest to turn around and it just shows once again how much dogs know about us humans and how little we’re willing to learn from them. You know, it’s not a coincidence that dog spelled backwards is God.”
“All right, I’ll go along with you for now, doesn’t seem like I have much choice. So, what happens now?”
“What you’re ready for.” Stan looked at me, cocked his head just like a dog, then shook his head sadly.
“And, right now, you’re not ready for anything else. That means it’s time for you to go. We’ll see each other again. Hopefully next time when we meet, you’ll be a little more together which will mean there’ll be a little more of me to see.”
Everything went dark, absolute blackness. As the dark surrounded me Stan said “Drew, one last thing, the weather’s about to change for the worse. You better get ready.”
The next thing I was aware of was the sound of a woman screaming. At first, I thought it was another dream but as I opened my eyes, the screaming didn’t stop. I was lying in my bed. Kaiser had woken up next to me and was whining. As I oriented myself I figured out that the screaming was coming from my parent’s bedroom. I rose out of bed, walked out into the hall and down to my parent’s bedroom. I knocked on their door, then slowly opened it and leaned inside.
Mom and Dad were both in bed. Dad held her close while she cried into his shoulder. She lifted her head up, looked Dad in the eye and said “I saw Ed. I saw Ed.” Ed was my brother who died before I was born. Ed was the brother I had never known.
Mom and Dad hadn’t noticed I was looking in and I saw a tender sadness between them that I hadn’t been aware of before. I felt somehow wrong in watching them, like I was spying on them. I closed the door, turned and walked away.
Back in my room I thought of Stan’s last words to me about the weather changing. Shit, what was that supposed to mean? It was early September, the weather usually didn’t change for the worse until late October or early November. I had nothing to worry about, unless the weather was a symbol for something else that was about to take a turn for the worse.
Comes a storm
At the end of September we finished up the third set of eight separators for New Mexico Chemicals. I shipped just four of them, to close out the second PO for twelve separators, having shipped them the first eight separators in August. As soon as the separators pulled out of our yard I walked inside and prepared the second 50% invoice for $102,000 and had it in the afternoon mail. I was going to hold onto the remaining four separators for now.
Tuesday, October 5, 1982 turned out to be a shitty day, the first of a long run of shitty days.
At 10:15 am, the phone rang, I picked it up and Peter Tilden, of New Mexico Chemicals, was on the phone.
“Pete, what's up? You got some news for me?” I was still waiting for the final PO for ten separators and was wondering if I was going to have to scramble on the last order of separators.
“Drew, I don't know what to say...”
“God damn, just say it.”
“I'm not going to send you a final PO for the last ten separators. Things are going crazy and there's no way I can get the funds approved.”
No order for the last ten, but how about the order for twelve we had just finished, and the order for ten that would be finished late this month?
“Shit, Peter, shit. Okay, okay, you got my invoice for $102,000, right? For the second PO of twelve separators? You're going to pay that, right? And you've already spent 50% on the next ten separators. How about them?”
“Nothing to worry about there, Drew. The money's allocated. I'll get the check for $102,000 cut either this week or next, I guarantee it. As for the final ten separators, I'll get the final check for them cut as soon as I can after you invoice me.”
“I'm tempted to fucking invoice you now.”
“Drew, you can't do that. There's no way I can get a check cut unless we have the entire order in place on site.”
“I know, I know, I'm just damn pissed. This really screws my day. Damn!”
“Sorry, Drew, but I think it is going to get worse before it gets any better.”
We didn't say much else. I hung up the phone, walked over to the refrigerator and got a beer. Damn, what a shitty day.
Over the next week and half we had three more customers cancel orders. When we worked through the mess we realized that with all of the cancellations we had suddenly dropped from four assembly lines to two, there just wasn't enough work to keep more than two assembly lines going at the same time. Even with dropping two assembly lines the work buffer dropped from 165 days to 150 days in a single month. Do the math and we had lost damn near a year's worth of backlog in one fucking month. This did not look good.
Falls the shadow, part 2
Yes, the fucking world was going insane. I thought October was bad. November was worse. More cancellations came in, the only deals we closed were small orders, but not enough to offset the cancellations. By the end of the month our backlog had shrunk to 100 days and 2 lines, another 100 days of lost backlog. In two months we had lost over a year of backlog. The end of the ride, which for a long time was out of sight, looked to be getting damn close.
I tried to talk to Rick about the state of business, but he wasn't interested in the conversation. He was focused on closing deals and drumming up new business and as a result spent very little time in the office.
All was not bad news. Peter Tilden did hold true. So did many of our other customers. On October 28th we received Pete’s check for $102,000, which closed out the PO for twelve separators. The next week the check cleared and the money was deposited in our business account. That afternoon Rick deposited $45,000 into his personal account. I did the same, leaving $12,000 to cover business expenses.
On November 9th we completed the last six separators for New Mexico Chemicals and watched them leave our yard. I immediately went inside, prepared the second 50% invoice for $80,000 and dropped it off at the post office.
The Thursday before Thanksgiving Rick skipped lunch with Matt and me. That might have been for the best. Lunch was a little somber that day. Matt was seeing the slowdown with various customers. Luckily we had stayed in constant communication and were on a “don't start until there's cash” agreement so neither VP Tanks or SouthWestern Tanks would be caught with large amounts of inventory and little work to do. I told Matt that if things didn't turn around by February I would seriously consider pulling completely out of VP Tanks, no matter what Rick wanted to do.
“Drew, I understand your concern, I do. 1983 might be a good year for you two to go back to school. You've both done good and from what I hear from your Uncle Bill you've managed to keep most of what you've made. Things could get rough out here if this is the real downturn. Of course, you never know, this all might be a delayed reaction to the recession in the rest of the country. Come January things might just start picking back up.”
Things could pick up in January, but I wanted to be ready to make my move in case they didn't.
Good things come in twos
Not all of November 1982 was bad. The Remingtons and the Tylers spent Thanksgiving in Lubbock as Elizabeth was too pregnant to travel. I took Wednesday off and rode up with my Mom and Dad that afternoon. Save for Bud and Elizabeth everyone stayed at a Holiday Inn not far from Bud's and Elizabeth's apartment. Wednesday evening and Thursday morning was spent socializing and cooking at the kid's apartment. In their spare minutes, Mom and Mrs. Tyler finished decorating the twin's room while Elizabeth directed them from the couch.
Thursday lunch was a magnificent feast and afterwards the men stared at the football games on television while the women picked up a little and talked about the grandchildren to be.
Saturday, November 27th was a wonderful day. True, the weather was a little nasty, a high near 39 and mixed snow and rain throughout the day. But around 1:30 pm Mary and George Tyler were born at the hospital in Lubbock.
Elizabeth and Bud were parents, I was an uncle and my Mom and Dad were, without a doubt, the proudest grandparents in West Texas, well, save for Bud's parents, they were rather proud too.
Elizabeth was a trooper but was exhausted from her ordeal. Mom sat with her throughout the afternoon and into the night while my Dad, the Tylers and I took turns staring at the little scrunched forms of Mary and George.
Sunday Mom, Dad and I returned home. The Tylers stayed in Lubbock and planned to until Elizabeth was released from the hospital. Then Mr. Tyler would come back to Odessa and Mrs. Tyler would stay with Elizabeth the first week at home. At that point, Mrs. Tyler and Mom would swap places, Mrs. Tyler returning home and Mom staying with Elizabeth for a week or more. When Mom went back up Dad would go with her and I planned to drive up the following weekend to spend time with my new niece and nephew.
Author’s note
In this episode Stan the Skeleton Man, a new recurring character, tells Drew “it’s not a coincidence that dog spelled backwards is God.”
In the early 2000s I was the software process improvement and QA director for a small’sh (about 500 people at its peak) network software company in Houston. One morning I was walking down the hallway when one of the software engineers came walking the other way. He had a good, subtle sense of humor and this morning he was wearing a t-shirt that said “Dyslexics believe in God.” We said hello as we went our ways and I thought to myself what a strange shirt. In my mind I thought, well of course some dyslexics believed in God and some didn’t, just like people in general.
I walked the halls and stairs quite a bit at that company as my teams were spread across the 21st, 22nd and 23rd floors of the building we were in. Three more times that day I saw the software engineer and his “Dyslexics believe in God” t-shirt. It was the last time that day when I finally got it, a few seconds as we once again passed each other in the hallway. His shirt actually read “Dyslexics believe in Dog,” but my own dyslexia translated that for me as "“Dyslexics believe in God.” I finally got the joke. I turned around and trotted after the engineer and called out his name. He turned around and stopped and I told him I finally got the joke. I explained to him what I’ve just told you. His face fell, he apologized and told me he wasn’t making fun of dyslexia, or of anyone who had to deal with it. I told him not to worry, its just that sometimes it takes me a long time to get a subtle joke.
The chapter title “Comes a storm” is a reference to the poems “The Waste Land,” “The Hollow Men,” and “Preludes” by T. S. Eliot. Hey, what can I say, T. S. Eliot is my favorite poet and when I first came up with the VP Tanks plot I must have been reading a a lot of T. S. Eliot.
Next week in Episode 22, Drew and Rick’s world falls further apart.