Walking Backwards - Episode 26
This is the twenty-sixth episode of Walking Backwards, the third collection of not quite true tales of Texas. Previous collections are:
The Cold Days of Summer - If you are new to these tales and the type who likes to know how things started I would recommend starting here.
The Hollow Men - the second collection of not quite true tales of Texas.
New episodes are posted (almost) every Sunday. You can move easily between episodes via links to the previous and next episode.
If you are new to these not quite true tales of Texas but are the type who likes to dive right in you could start with the prologue to Walking Backwards. The prologue provides a summary of the first two collections and descriptions of the major characters you will be reading about in Walking backwards.
Last week in episode 25 of Walking Backwards Drew and Ann solve a puzzle from Peeling the Onion, Sam fades away, and Mike shows Drew that peace surrounds us all.
Twenty years after
Every ten years I make a pilgrimage to Odessa for my high school reunion. The pilgrimage is to remember my youth and occasionally to discover something new about the past.
The official invitation came by U.S. Mail. I had been warned before hand that I was among the lost, those graduates the reunion committee no longer had valid contact information for. Barry called me in April out of the blue to let me know I was lost, at least to those who mattered, the reunion committee.
Ann answered the phone and talked for a good ten minutes with the man who fought Jack-in-the-Box before she handed me the phone.
“Drew, it's been a long time. How have you been?”
It had been a long time. Save for a monthly phone call to my mother, I hadn't talked to anyone from Odessa in three years. I didn't feel like I had anything to say. I had been broken and have been patching things up ever since. It wasn't bad, it just wasn't exciting conversation. I didn't feel disconnected from Odessa. I heard often enough from the dead to ever feel like that. I still heard the voices that I have been hearing since I was a kid. I wasn't alone, I wasn't disconnected from Odessa, I just wasn't talking all that much to the living.
“Good, good.”
Silent pause on the phone. We're both waiting for the other to speak. Barry takes the bait.
“Don't know if you knew, but I'm living in Austin now. I am the weekend anchor sportscaster at KVUE. Been there since 1994.”
“Hey, that's great! Are you liking it there?”
“Yeah, its different, Austin that is. Its no longer that college town that doesn't want to get big. Its bigger, growing. Traffic can suck, but I like the work. Don't have to mess much with professional sports save for an occasional Spurs and Cowboys report. I get to focus on the Longhorns and high school sports.
“When's the last time you been to Austin?”
Wow, I had to think about that. I had left for good shortly before Ann and I married in 1988. I might have been back once or twice for a few days here and there but I left Jack in charge of my old house and I had been getting a regular rent check ever since so I hadn't seen a need to go there.
“More or less for good '88. But I was there some in '89 wrapping up the last of my Austin writing contracts.”
“Damn, that's a long time, Drew. You and Ann should come here. Jack's still here. He and Shannon have two kids now. He's doing good. Katey is here, working full time as a CPA. Janey relocated to Austin last year and is the head greenskeeper at Barton Creek. She got tired of the traveling, but she made a ton of contacts while she was a golf course designer and she's got a great gig at Barton Creek. Best thing is she can usually get Jack and me on the course once a month or so.”
“Jack's playing golf? Hard to imagine that.”
“He's not bad. Eats my lunch every time. Not that great off the tee, but from 100 yards in he's damn near a pro. Never seen him three putt a green. A good guy to have as a partner, he'll make you some money on the course. Hey, that's it! You should come down and play some golf with us. If you can find Jason, bring him along. When's the last time you played?”
It had been a while, a long while. I had played a round or two when we moved to Columbia Lakes but then life got in the way and I hadn't played in years.
“Its been a long while. The commute to Houston every day doesn't leave me any time during the week and I try to spend as much time with Ann and Rae on the weekends.”
“Yeah, I looked at a map. That's a bitch of a commute. What is it? An hour and a half each way?”
“Not as bad as that. I drive highway speeds until I get to Houston. Most days an hour and change, some days a little worse.”
“Yeah, don't think I could handle it. Hey, time to change the subject. You know what year it is?
“1996.”
“And what that means?”
I had to think for a moment but the answer came to me.
“Twenty year high school reunion. Have they set a date yet? I haven't seen or heard anything.”
“That's because you're lost.”
I wondered if Barry knew how right he was. I had been lost, but unlike the prodigal son perhaps I was not found.
He kept talking.
“The invitations went out a month ago along with a list of the lost. You're on the lost list. No one on the reunion committee knows how to contact you. I saw your name and called to see if you want to stay lost.”
“Not particularly. Is there someone I need to contact?
“Yeah, but let me give you the details. The reunion will be held June 21st and 22nd at the Radisson Hotel in Odessa. That's the hotel they built on University Avenue, across from UTPB. The events start Friday night at 7:00 pm in one of the meeting rooms. Saturday there is a golf tournament at the old course at Odessa Country Club and the Saturday evening main event will be held at Odessa Country Club starting at 6:30 pm with a fajita dinner. I've signed up for the golf tournament and plan to headquarter at the Radisson. I like the idea of drinking hard Friday night then taking an elevator to my room.”
This sounded good. I actually wanted to see the old gang.
“Barry, let me know who to contact. We don't have anything planned until the second week of July when the three of us are going to DisneyWorld. June is wide open. A trip to Odessa sounds good to me. Who do I need to contact?”
“Great. Just give Sue a call. She can make sure you get the right information. Shit, you could just show up. I can't imagine this thing will be so well organized that if someone shows up without registering beforehand they would turn them down.”
We talked for a few more minutes. Made a few plans. Swore we would stay in better contact than we had been.
I told Ann about the reunion. She quickly said that she would pass on the chance to go to Odessa in the midst of summer. Looks like I will be riding solo to this reunion.
That weekend I called Sue. J.T. answered the phone. I told him that I wanted to talk to Sue about the reunion but didn't mention who I was. He didn't recognize my voice and handed the phone to Sue.
“Hey, so what do you need to know about the reunion? You could have asked J.T., he knows as much as I do.”
In the background I could hear J.T. laugh. Sue didn't keep secrets and I was sure J.T. did know as much as Sue.
“Sue, this is Drew. Barry said I should talk to you.”
There was a pause, then Sue screamed into the phone and then to J.T.
“Drew! Drew Remington! I ought to,... well, I can't say what I ought to do. How dare you call out of the blue like this! J.T., get on the extension, Drew's on the phone!”
J.T. picked up the extension and I had to listen to both of them berate me for not staying in touch. I didn't have an argument. They sent a Christmas card every year with a long letter from Sue catching one up on the going on's of the Billings clan. I've not sent a Christmas card in years, well, on second thought, I don't think I've ever sent a Christmas card.
Once I had apologized profusely enough to satisfy Sue (J.T. said he was satisfied after the second apology) she was willing to tell me about the reunion. Barry had his facts straight.
“Drew Remington, I want from you right now your promise that you, Ann and Rae are coming to the reunion. I won't let you off the phone until you say yes.”
“I'm saying yes for me but Ann and Rae aren't coming. Ann's not much of a fan of Odessa, particularly in the summer and we've got a big family vacation planned for July and Ann likes to stick to her budget.”
Sue pushed me on this but J.T. saw there was no point and talked her into being okay if just I show up in June.
“You've got to come out to house. You haven't seen your handiwork in years.”
“Sue, I'll do that. Let's plan on Saturday.”
“I'll hold you to it. Don't you dare drink too much Friday. I won't accept the excuse of a hangover.”
We talked about our families. James was near nine and had just finished the third grade. Their youngest, Katherine, was five years old and ready for kindergarten that fall. I didn't tell her that I didn't remember Katherine. There's no doubt in my mind that I should have known about her, but I didn't. After thirty minutes we wound down and decided to save the rest of the conversation for the reunion. Sue took down my contact information and told me she would send out a reunion packet to me on Monday.
The packet arrived by the end of the week. According to the one of the forms I was a last minute registration so not only did I have to fill out the forms I would also have to call the reunion committee to let them know that one more person was showing up. I filled out the forms and called Bobby Golder, head of the reunion committee and our former class president. I don’t think he remembered me, but acted like he did and took my registration information. I sent my forms and my check in the next day's mail.
April passed as did May.
Friday morning, June 21st I was up at my usual time. I had packed the night before and loaded up my good old truck for another drive to west Texas. Mike and I went out for our walk. After we got back I cooked breakfast: scrambled eggs, biscuits, gravy and sausage. We all ate well, including Mike, whose coat glistened from the eggs.
Around 8:00 am I said goodbye to my girls and Mike and drove west. On the front seat next to me I had Rick's Peeling the Onion. I thought if the urge came I might solve a puzzle. I didn't bring anything else to solve puzzles but Rick's book. That's important, remember this.
Seven hours and 45 minutes later I crossed the Ector county line. I had come in from the south, via the Crane Highway. Something urged me to stop and I pulled over to the side of the road. I could already feel the weight on me. I did not want to stay. I could turn around right now, drive back and no one would ever know how close I came. But I had made commitments, to Sue, to J.T., to Barry. I wasn't worried about having to explain myself to Barry, or even J.T., but Sue was another matter. If I didn't show up tomorrow at her house, well, I'm not sure if I would ever be welcome in west Texas again. Sue's wrath was something I did not care to bear so I got back in the truck and drove to Odessa.
It was 4:00 pm when I pulled into the parking lot of the Radisson. I parked, went into the lobby, checked in, and went to my room. There were people milling about downstairs near the meeting rooms where the Friday night event was to be held, some looked a little familiar but I wasn't ready to talk to anyone yet.
In my room I unpacked and called home to let Ann and Rae know I had arrived safely. After the call I took a cat nap. I woke up at 5:00 pm, and looked out my fifth floor window at the Friday afternoon traffic. I didn't see much traffic. I had seen a Jack Jordan's BarBQ a few blocks from the hotel and, feeling hungry, drove over and had a combo plate, sausage and brisket. The brisket was dry, practically falling apart, the sausage was perfectly cooked. A large glass of tea, beans, potato salad and the Friday edition of the Odessa American resulted in a perfect way to start the weekend.
Fully satisfied I drove back to the hotel. The evening festivities started at 7:00 pm, but I was in no hurry. My plan was to start late and last late. I went back to my room, showered, considered shaving, but didn't think my stubble warranted the unpleasantness of shaving. I dressed in jeans, boat shoes and a polo shirt. I watched the local news, then flicked around the channels until I was convinced I would be better off talking to people versus trolling the television channels.
I took one last short look in the mirror. I weighed about twenty pounds more than I did in high school. I had managed to lose most of the weight I had gained during my dark times, thanks to Sam, Mike. and our morning walks. My hair was cut short, much shorter than I had worn it in high school and there was more silver than there was black. I didn't think I looked that much older, but I had been seeing myself every day for the last twenty years. The real beholder would be the people who hadn't seen me in years but still remembered me.
I steeled myself and walked downstairs to the reunion. Working the front desk was an ex-cheerleader. I immediately recognized her even if her hair was now ash blonde versus the dark brunette it had been in high school. I walked up, gave her my name and waited for recognition. It was a little slow, but it came.
“Drew? My God, I love your hair, so distinguished!”
“Thanks. Almost didn't recognize you with your hair different. It looks good but I recognized you from your eyes, they way they light when you smile.”
She blushed just for a second.
“Oh, I just wanted a change. I got tired of the way I looked.” She brushed a lock away from her eyes.
“Well, you're as beautiful as ever. It's all I can do to put together a coherent sentence while looking at you.”
“Ah, Drew, you're still the same. Always saying the nicest things in interesting ways. When did you get in?”
“I drove in around 4:00 pm, checked in, took a nap and here I am.”
She looked at my registration information and said “Where is West Columbia?”
“About 50 miles south of Houston.”
“You drove? That's a long way.”
“About seven and a half hours, plenty of time to argue with myself back and forth on whether I really wanted to come. In the end my better half won and here I am.”
We had run out of small talk. She handed me my registration packet and my name tag which had my graduation portrait with my hair solid black and long, down to my shoulders. I would have to bring the photo back for Ann to have a laugh at.
I entered the ball room. It looked like there was a hundred or more people milling about. Some I recognized, some I had no idea who they were. I headed to the cash bar and bought a Coors long neck. It had been a long time since I had a Coors and the first sip caught me by surprise, more of a bite than I remembered. The second sip was good as was the third. I began to feel more at ease but wasn't in a hurry to talk so I scanned the room.
Off to my left was a loud group of women, once girls, now women, talking and laughing loudly, near screaming as they told tales of the past and the present. The volume only seemed to increase when another joined the group. It would take several beers before I had the courage to face that group. Farther away were a group of cowboys, all wearing boots, jeans and western shirts. Half of them wore cowboy hats and the rest baseball caps. Their skin was burned by the wind and sun. There weren't many cowboys when we graduated but time changes us all. I recognized a group of ex-jocks off to my right, in various states of decline. Barry was in the midst of them and looked about the best. I'm guessing he had an image to maintain on the screen and worked to maintain it. Those were the large groups, everyone else was in smaller clusters, of three to five people. I wandered over to the ex-jocks with a fresh beer.
I stood on the edge of the group, listening and it didn't feel much different than a night at Lambert's land. In fact, that is exactly how it felt. We were all in one place, but there were individuals groups. On those nights Mark, Jason, Rick and I would wander from group to group, seeing who was there, what music was playing and who had the best booze or drugs. I was lost in the memory when I was slapped on the back.
“Drew, damn, how are you?”
I woke up and saw Greg Connors.
“Greg, man, good to see you!”
We shook hands, exchanged our pasts and presents. Greg was living in the Dallas area, working for the EPA as an inspector. Greg hadn't changed much and I thought back on the brownies and cookies Tommy, Mark, Rick and I stole from him when he was a varsity football player.
We didn't talk about the sad times, we both somehow knew to stay away from that. We only talked of good times. Greg always had a good sense of where the line was. I always appreciated that about him. One of these days I need to tell him that.
Barry was telling one of his sportscasting tales when he saw Greg and I off to the side. He nodded at me, I tipped my beer to him. He wrapped up his story and made his way over to us.
“Greg Connors, you still got that bathing suit body.” Greg had always been stocky and was a few pounds heavier from twenty years of life after high school. We all laughed.
“As for you Drew, you got to quit the hermit shit. Haven't seen you in years, like you disappeared off the face of the earth.” He looked at my nearly empty beer and said “Looks like you could use a fresh one. What say we grab a few? Greg, you joining us?”
Greg did. It was good to talk. It was good to talk to people who I didn't have to explain who I was or where I came from. It was good.
That's how Friday night went. I drank a lot of beer and the more I drank the more I talked and listened. J.T. joined our group of three then directed me to the group of loud women.
“Sue's over there. I don't think she's noticed you're here yet. Go surprise her.”
Barry dared me to it, so did Greg. I had enough beer in me to take the dare so I wandered off by myself towards the loud women. I saw Sue and saw that she had not seen me. I changed my angle of approach so Sue would not see me until I was ready for her to. Some of the girls/women saw me, some recognized me and started to speak/scream but I put my fingers to my lips motioning to Sue, hoping they would stay quiet. They got my hint and went along with my silent request. I came up to Sue from behind and pinched her on the side. In the middle of a sentence she spun around and saw me.
“Drew? Drew!” And then I nearly drowned in her hug. Everyone laughed, even more so when J.T. walked up and said softly yet menacingly “Remington, that's my wife you're holding onto.”
I said “Not planning on letting go for awhile” which led to more laughter.
Sometimes you need to hold onto someone. That moment I had what I needed. I held onto the first girl I had fallen for but who had never known about it. It wasn't real love, twenty plus years had taught me that. Ann had taught me that. But Sue was important to me, of that there was no doubt. So was J.T. I had lost some things, some people, damn near lost everything but that Friday night I was beginning to see how much I still had. It was a good night.
The party faded away around 2:00 am. Too late for many, too late for me, but I was having a good time. After promising to be at Sue's house at 11:00 am I wandered back to my room. A cold shower helped to rinse away some of the beer. I fell asleep quickly and didn't wake up until 8:00 am, but I did dream.
Author’s note: Later this year, in October 2025, the 50 year reunion of the 1976 class of Odessa Permian High School will be held. I’m planning to go. It will be good to see old friends and acquaintances. It will be sad to remember those who are no longer with us.
One of the people I was looking forward to seeing was Kandie Little-Thomsen Blake. She and I had several classes together at Permian. She always had a wonderful smile and had perfected the art of walking through time. Just a few minutes with her and I would be back in high school. Kandie died this past week but she will be at the reunion in spirit and memory.
Another friend of mine from those days has asked more than once who the characters in these “not quite true tales of Texas” are based on. I’ve told her the characters are amalgams, a combination of one or more people I knew mixed in with stuff I made up.
Susie - Drew’s friend Greg Connors is my friend Greg Fife. Both Gregs have always known where the line is.
Next week in Episode 27 of Walking Backwards Drew returns to Gardendale to see the fruits of his labors, and Jack Blessing figures it all out.
Sad to read about the loss of Kandi.
I pegged Greg F from early in your writings. We called him Stump for that thick stumpy body.