Walking Backwards - Episode 6
Drew, Mike and Rick have a deeper conversation, and Buster, Sam, Ann and Drew travel to Odessa, a land of sand but no water.
Welcome to the sixth episode of Walking Backwards, the third collection of not quite true tales of Texas. Previous collections are:
The Cold Days of Summer - If you are new to these tales and the type who likes to know how things started I would recommend starting here.
The Hollow Men - the second collection of not quite true tales of Texas.
New episodes are posted every Sunday. You can move easily between episodes via links to the previous and next episode.
If you are new to these not quite true tales of Texas but are the type who likes to dive right in I suggest you look at the prologue to Walking Backwards. The prologue provides a summary of the first two collections and descriptions of the major characters you will be reading about in Walking backwards.
Last week in episode 5 of Walking Backwards Drew questions everything he knows, Jack Blessing gets married, Drew proposes to Ann and she says yes.
What’s it all about, part 2
Exhausted from the events of Jack and Shannon’s wedding, Mike, Rick, Mark, Barry, Ann and I made it back to my house fairly early Saturday evening. There was still a good amount of beer in the refrigerator so several of us took advantage of that situation, but our heart was not in it. The west Texas boys had a long drive home on Sunday and decided acting just a little bit sane was the best choice.
I woke up early Sunday morning to a voice, not the voice of anyone living in the house, even though it was packed to the gills with people.
“Life goes on forever but the people in it come and go.”
The voice wasn't harsh, but something about it gave me a sense of foreboding.
Buster was sound asleep lying between Ann and me. Sam wasn't in the bedroom, which probably meant she was guarding the front door in her sleep, not surprising considering all of the visitors we had this weekend. I was awake so I got up and walked into the night that was turning into day.
No one else was up yet. It was 5:30 am and I could hear the sounds of sleep coming from all over the house. As I walked into the kitchen Sam joined me. I grabbed some dried peaches from the pantry and we walked into the backyard to watch the day rise.
I'm not sure how long we had been in the yard before Rick and Mike joined us.
“Damn, looks like another fine day, a good day to drive.”
“Yeah, it does, Garrett, it does. What are you going to do when the house gets empty later today, Drew?” said Rick.
“Watch some football, maybe take Sam for a run.”
Sam's ears perked up at the mention of her name and the possibility of a run.
“Figure we'll leave by 10:00. Rick, Mark and I have the longest drive. Maybe we'll tag up with J.T. and Sue, not sure when they're leaving. Damn shame it's a Sunday, no liquor stores open today to stock up for the drive.”
“There's some beer in the fridge. Feel free to take it for the road.”
“That's mighty nice of you. Perhaps we will.”
“Perhaps we won't, after all you can't drink and drive anymore in Texas.”
“Rick, you're being a spoil sport, but you're right. It's been a great weekend, good to see old friends, good to meet some new friends, and good to see an old friend start on a new life. I would hate to ruin it by running astride of the law on the way home.”
“Drew, speaking of new friends, I do like Ann. When you bringing her to West Texas?” asked Rick.
“Soon, Rick, soon. Nothing firm yet. Maybe January.” I replied.
“How do you think she will like the land of no trees and no water? She being a girl from the coast?”
“I would not be surprised if she does not like it. There's something about the coast, the breeze, the humidity, the green, everything is green, soothing on the eyes. No, I don't think she'll like the dust and the wind.”
“Probably not. Following on with Rick's topic of new friends, I've been seeing Mary Ann quite a bit.”
“Mary Ann? Our secretary at VP Tanks?”
Mike nodded yes.
“You old dog! How is she? Did she finish up at UTPB?”
“She did, with much thanks to you and Rick. She told me about the severance package you gave her. She thinks the world of you two. Always will. I'll have to admit, my opinion of you two went up another notch thanks to her. That was hard to do, considering I thought pretty good of you two already.”
“Are you and Mary Ann serious?”
“Maybe, as serious as I've been in awhile. She's a good girl, decent, kind, has a laugh that warms my heart, hard working. I could do much worse. I could do much worse.”
“Damn, sounds like you've made your decision already, Mr. Garrett.”
“Maybe I have, maybe I have. It's a damn big step though, that kind of thing changes your life.”
“Change or the world's going to change you.” said Rick.
I looked at Rick. Maybe someone had told him about my Dad's funeral where I told people that is what my Dad told me when I left for Austin. Rick wasn't at my Dad's funeral, that was during Rick's dark time when he wasn’t acknowledging anything or anyone.
“Hey, I remember that from Mr. Remington's funeral. Drew, you talked about that.”
“I did.”
“Rick, why did you bring that up?” asked Mike.
“That's for Drew to say. His Dad's words, Drew's interpretation.”
I thought for a moment, back to that day, back to my Dad's funeral, back to VP Tanks, back to all that changed in the years since we were young, to last night when my world ended, and a new one with Ann and me started. Then I spoke.
“I don't know why Rick said that just then, but I'll tell you what I think. I think we each have a choice, to let the world knock us around or to make our own choices and to live up to them. I don't think there's any guarantee of good in this world, save for the good that each of us makes through our own actions.
“In this case, Mike, you're on the edge of a choice, a decision, a change. Mary Ann means something to you, I don't know exactly what, but she means something to you. Otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned it to us. You're a talker, always have been, but you don't often let people into your thoughts. This time you did, you wanted us to know about Mary Ann. Maybe because Rick and I know Mary Ann pretty well. I don't know if you have told anyone else this or not, and it doesn't matter. What matters is you told us. Here's the thing, you can take the easy choice and do nothing, just let things happen, let someone else or something else decide your fate, decide your future. No responsibilities, no cares, open another beer, go to work the next day, live until you die. Not a bad life, but I wonder how empty a life? Or you can make the hard choice, make a change, a change that will affect you, that will affect Mary Ann. I don't think such a change is easy. Being two instead of one isn't easy, at least I don't think so. There are compromises to be made, arguments to lose, pain to be shared. But, damn, you won't be alone, and that is something worth considering. The hard choice means you won't be alone, at least for a little while.
“I don't think you told us this asking for our opinion. I think your mind is already made up. You never cared much for other people's opinions, you've always made up your own mind.”
“Damn, Drew, I didn't expect a soliloquy from you, but I hear you. I told you two because you are my friends. I don't trust many people in this world, but I trust you two. I trust Jack. Yeah, I know what I'm going to do. I guess, as strange as it sounds, I was looking for your blessing.”
“You've got that. Treat her well.”
“I will.”
I looked at Rick and noticed that Ann was standing in the doorway listening to us, for how long I don't know, but the look in her eyes hinted to me it had been long enough.
“How did I do, Rick?”
“Good enough, Drew. We've got our choices to make and our lives will change. We can be part of that change or we can let the world change us, our choice. I prefer to be part of the change. Mike prefers to be part of the change. Drew, you're the one that has often sat back and let the world change around you and change you. But that's not what I heard this morning. I heard a man who's decided to be the change. That's a good thing.”
Ann sat down beside me, kissed me on the cheek and said “Yes, that's a good thing.”
By 8:00 everyone in the house was awake. By 10:00 am, they were all gone, Mark, Rick and Mike to Odessa, Barry to Corpus, Ann and Buster to Houston. The house was quiet. Sam and I went for a nice, long run.
Ann, Buster, Sam and I spent December 23 through December 27 in Freeport at Mrs. Torrance's house. It was a good, quiet, warm holiday. I took Mrs. Torrance and Ann out for dinner and that's where we told Mrs. Torrance that we were engaged. Ann had a diamond mounted on her grandfather's wedding band for her engagement ring. Mrs. Torrance was probably a mix of happy and sad, at least I hope she was happy.
Christmas morning I called my Mom and told her the news. She was happy and shocked, I had apparently given her no hint. I promised that we would come to Odessa soon, probably sometime in January.
The afternoon of December 27th we left Mrs. Torrance's house and drove to Austin where we spent most of the week. Ann and Buster returned to Houston on Saturday, January 2nd. From what I could tell 1988 looked to be a good year.
We drove to Odessa in late January. Ann took Friday and Monday off to make a long weekend and she and Buster drove to Austin after school Thursday. They arrived in early evening. Sam and I had already packed our stuff. While Buster and Ann unwound from their drive I loaded Ann's car with our stuff. Ann had a four door Toyota, a much better ride for a long drive to Odessa with two people and two dogs. We went to bed early that night and were up at 3:00 the next morning. Buster and Ann took the back seat and immediately fell back asleep. Sam rode shotgun and I drove west. We made two stops on the way, I drove the entire way and we arrived at my Mom's house at lunch time. Sam introduced Buster to Brutus. I introduced Ann to my Mom. Both introductions seemed to go well.
Mom fixed lunch and the afternoon went politely and quietly. As time passed Mom warmed up to Ann. Around 4:30 Elizabeth, with George and Mary in tow, walked in the front door. George and Mary were more interested in the dogs and the five of them went out in the backyard. George, Mary and Buster bundled up for the brisk weather. Sam and Brutus were just fine with their natural coats. After introductions had been made and I could see that Elizabeth had made a positive determination of Ann, and Ann of her, I went outside to keep an eye on the kids and the dogs.
Buster was a few years older than Sam and was well set in his ways. Buster wasn't used to being around kids, but the kids had been around Sam and Brutus enough to know when to leave a dog alone. Brutus was excited to see Sam and was intensely interested in Buster and all five got along well. After about thirty minute the twin's faces were red enough and Buster was ready to go back inside to the warm so we did.
Ann and Elizabeth were steady talking and Mom was watching quietly. When we walked in the twins ran to their mother, said hello to Ann, hugged Grandma and asked her for some cookies. The three of them went into the kitchen, the three dogs following in anticipation of a treat of their own and I followed them.
Once the kids and the dogs have been supplied it was just Mom and me in the kitchen.
“Drew, I like her. She seems very nice.” There was a pause.
“Too nice for me?”
She smiled at that before she said “Hard to say. I really didn't know what kind of woman would be best for you. You've never been very open about things like that. Elizabeth, well, we always knew what was going on with Elizabeth so when we first met Bud I had a good feeling that he might be the one.”
Ann and Elizabeth were standing in the kitchen doorway.
“I think what Mom is trying to say, Elizabeth, is that you talked so much so often that there was nothing hidden about you.”
“Dear brother, in contrast to you who stayed hidden all of the time.”
“With you around, there was no time left in the day for anyone else to speak.”
Elizabeth, smiling, turned to Ann and said “You see what Mom and I have had to put up with. Are you sure you want to be with this guy?”
“I've always liked a man with secrets.” Ann said.
That evening we had dinner at Bud and Elizabeth's. Uncle Bill and Aunt Sherry were there as well. A lot was said that night. Way too much about me. It seemed that my family was determined to let Ann know everything they knew about me. It is good I only told them a few of my secrets.
The next day Sue and J.T. had Ann and I over to their house for lunch. Rick, Mark, Mike Garret, Mary Ann, Art, Lyle and James were there as well.
Mike and Mary Ann were sitting outside on the porch when we arrived and greeted us first.
“Remington, you son of a bitch, you're engaged. Didn't think I would ever see the day.”
I looked at Mary Ann's hand and saw the engagement ring.
“Garrett, so I see you made the right decision, about Mary Ann that is.”
I got a good long hug from Mary Ann. She looked great and they both looked very happy.
Everyone else was in the house. J.T. and Sue's son James was a little over a year old and was walking confidently from person to person. It was a long, relaxing afternoon. My only concern was that everyone at some point in the day pulled Ann off to the side to talk with her.
At one point Rick pulled me aside and asked me what kind of computer did I think he should buy. That caught me off guard so I asked why he was thinking of buying a computer. His answer was right in line with the Rick I grew up with: practical and pragmatic.
“I need to keep up with things: my houses, investments, insurance and on and on. Doing it by hand once a month is a pain and I thought I would get some of your advice.”
We talked a bit more then I suggested we drive to Permian Mall and peruse the technical magazine rack at the B. Dalton’s Bookstore there. Ann wasn’t interested in going with us so Rick and I left with me promising we would be back in no more than 90 minutes. I wasn’t too concerned as Ann was enjoying her conversation with Sue and Mary Ann.
At the bookstore I picked out the latest issue of PC Magazine for Rick. He skimmed the magazine on the way back to J. T. and Sue’s while he bounced questions off of me. Before Ann and I left later that afternoon, Rick and I decided that his best deal would be to order from Dell Computer Corporation (what had been PC’s Limited and where I bought my first two computers). We scoped out a high end spec and I’ll admit that took a good sales pitch from me to close the deal. Rick was never known as an extravagant person, but I was able to convince him to go with 80386DX processor, a megabyte of RAM, and a 100 MB hard drive. To complete the deal we scoped out a second order for a HP Inkjet printer. Rick planned to make the orders next week. I promised him free technical support over the phone.
That evening back at my Mom's house I asked Ann about all of the side conversations. She told me that most everyone wanted me to know that they were happy for the two of us but that I could prove to be a handful.
“Mike mentioned that you're tough, tougher than you look. He mentioned that you and Rick have sand and starch and that he trusts you two more than anyone. Save for Jack. Rick, well, Rick seems very quiet, but he had a lot to say about you.”
“Great, hopefully nothing he said makes you regret your decision.”
“No, but some of it was a little strange. He said that you see and hear things differently than others, that there will be times you will be maddening and frustrating to me, but to be patient, you will come around. He asked me what I knew about him and how VP Tanks came to an end. I told him what you told me, that the two of you saw the boom starting to bust and decided to shut the company down before you lost too much. That you decided to move to Austin and that he stayed in Odessa. He looked at me a little strangely when I said that and asked if that's all you said. I nodded yes and he seemed satisfied with that and said he should have known. I asked him what he should have known, and he smiled and said it doesn't matter.”
I hadn't told Ann about Rick's crack-up, didn't see a point to that.
“There's one other thing about Rick. Most of the time he seems normal, maybe a little more serious than the rest of your friends, save for J.T., he and Sue are about as normal as you can get. But there's something about Rick, like there's a different side to him, like that morning in Austin when you, he and Mike were talking in the backyard. Sometimes he has a perspective that no one else has, like he knows something that no one else does.”
“That is Rick, sometimes as normal as can be, sometimes like he knows everything.”
Sunday morning Elizabeth, Bud and the twins came by to take Mom to church. Ann, Buster, Sam and I were packed and ready for our drive to Austin. We said our goodbyes, they left for church. We let Brutus, Sam and Brutus have one more burst of play in the back yard and then the four of us left for Austin. We arrived in the mid-afternoon, gassed up Ann's car and relaxed the rest of the day. Monday morning Buster and Ann drove back to Houston.
Author’s notes: My older sister Lanita often called me “dear brother” with a hint of affection and sarcasm. She was an extrovert, and I complained more than once that with three extroverts (Lanita, my father and mother) in the family there was rarely enough time or air for my brother Steve or I (both natural introverts) to get a word in.
To give you a better perspective on Lanita, “In memory of Lanita Akins” is worth a read.
Next week in episode 7 of Walking Backwards, Drew returns to the land of bent trees, and things get a little testy between Ann and Drew when he doesn’t make the best choice of words and rushes Ann just a bit.
the subtle complexity of daily life
moments that carry us