Walking Backwards - Episode 9
Rick's time is up. Robert and Drew assess what's been left behind. Drew suggests a plan to Rick's family. Rick warns Drew to not "cut muscle and bone when all you're trying to do is cut fat.”
Welcome to the ninth episode of Walking Backwards, the third collection of not quite true tales of Texas. Previous collections are:
The Cold Days of Summer - If you are new to these tales and the type who likes to know how things started I would recommend starting here.
The Hollow Men - the second collection of not quite true tales of Texas.
New episodes are posted (almost) every Sunday. You can move easily between episodes via links to the previous and next episode.
If you are new to these not quite true tales of Texas but are the type who likes to dive right in I suggest you look at the prologue to Walking Backwards. The prologue provides a summary of the first two collections and descriptions of the major characters you will be reading about in Walking backwards.
In our last episode, episode 8 of Walking Backwards, the voices and Stan the Skeleton Man return, Rick smooths things over, Drew and Ann get hitched, and Tommy warns Drew that things might get strange.
On the way to Southern Maid – when God dies
The problem with a new life is that you sometimes forget to keep up with the old life. That's how it was with me. I now had a new life with Ann and after our trip to Odessa for Mike and Mary Ann's wedding I hadn't done a good job of keeping up with friends or family.
It all began with a phone call the morning of Thursday, February 24, 1989. Ann had already left for work. I was working from home that day when the home phone rang at 2:17 pm. Strange how you remember the exact time of certain events in your life. This was one of those times.
“Hello?”
“Drew, is that you?” The voice was older and sounded tired.
“Yes.”
“Drew, this is Mr. Anders, Rick's dad. I... I, uh, Rick's dead.”
There was silence on both ends of the phone for a moment before Mr. Anders spoke again.
“He rode his bike to Southern Maid today. He's been going to Southern Maid every Thursday for the last few years, ever since he came back. He crossed 8th and Dixie at the green light and was hit by a truck running the red. They took him to the hospital, they called me at work and told me they didn't think he would make it. He lasted long enough to see his mother and me one last time. He died telling us not to worry about him or anything. He did ask me to ask you one favor.”
“What did Rick want?”
“He wants you to speak at his funeral. Said you and Robert knew him better than anyone else.”
“Have you talked to Robert?”
“I called him before I called you.”
“How are you and Mrs. Anders?”
“Not good, son, not good.”
“I'll be there, I'll speak at his funeral.”
“Good, his mother will appreciate that. So will I.”
We said a few more things but I don't remember any of it.
Ann arrived home at her usual time, around 4:15 pm. I told Ann about Rick. She cried. I held her.
Around 6:30 pm the phone rang again. This time it was Robert, Rick’s older brother.
“I'm in Odessa. Flew down this afternoon. Dad said the two of you talked while I was in the air from Corpus to Odessa.”
“Yes, how are they doing?”
“They're lost and dazed. Dad's trying, but Mom's a wreck. I'm taking care of all the arrangements. Tomorrow I'm going to figure everything out but I could use your help.”
“Sure, tell me what you need.”
“Contact Rick's friends, let them know. Some that live here will know because of the news, but I want them to hear from someone who knew Rick. I'm going to be busy and I don't want Mom or Dad to be bothered.”
“Consider it done, Robert.”
“Thanks. I appreciate that. Right now I can't see getting the service set up any sooner than early next week. I can't give you any better than that.”
“I plan to be there Saturday. Not sure if I'm going to fly or when/if Ann will be there, but I will be there Saturday.”
“There's one last thing. Dad sort of kept up with Rick's money, but not all that closely. It sounds like the accountant you two used with VP Tanks has most of Rick's finance records. It would be good to have someone take a look at what Rick has.”
“I'll call Kevin tomorrow morning. I may not be able do much officially, but Kevin should be able to give me an idea of what was going on. When I talked with Rick this summer it sounded like he was doing well. He had been buying houses, renovating them, then renting them.”
“Yeah, he had told me about some of what he was doing. I'm hoping that between you, me and Dad we can figure it out without having to pay someone else too much money.”
“We can get close. While we had VP Tanks, we both bought life insurance. I would be surprised if Rick let that lapse. I also call Houston Copeland and see what I can find out.”
I was up late that evening. I talked to Jack, Kate, Jason, Barry, Mark, J.T., Sue, James, Art and Lyle. With some people the call went very quick, with others the call went long. One of the early calls was to my Mom. I told her I would be in Odessa on Saturday.
Friday I talked to Kevin, our old accountant, Houston Copeland, our Odessa insurance agent, Southwest Airlines and Robert. Kevin wouldn't say much since I didn't have any legal right but he did say that Rick had taken good care of his assets and that he would be glad to talk with Mr. Anders the next week to work out all of the details. Houston Copeland did say that Rick hadn't let any life insurance lapse and that he had also purchased some additional insurance in the last couple of years. When we first signed up with Houston for life insurance we both purchased $150,000 worth of life insurance so I knew the Anders had at least that much coming to them. Robert told me that he had worked out most of the details for Rick's service, which would be held Monday afternoon. I told him what I had learned from Kevin and Houston, and that I would be in Odessa by noon Saturday.
Ann was five months pregnant and we both felt that it would be best if she stayed in West Columbia. Neither flying to Odessa or driving 500 miles sounded like a good thing for her. Friday night I packed my bag as I would leave early the next morning to drive to Houston Hobby to catch my flight. My plan was to fly back to Odessa the following Wednesday.
That Friday night I dreamed of the field. Stan was waiting for me. He didn't say a word but pointed to a tree in the distance. I walked to the tree where I found Tommy and Rick. Tommy shook my hand, slapped me on the back and congratulated me for being a dad. Rick moved slowly like he was banged up and winced when I hugged him.
“Be careful, the physical pain from the other world persists here for a little while.”
“Shit, why you, why now?”
“Tommy told you years ago. Nothing has changed. It was my time. The thing is, for you, this is just the start. You're strong enough, you know it, I know it. You've been a big help to Robert and my parents. I appreciate that. But don't be so strong for them that you become weak. You got to be careful you don't cut muscle and bone when all you're trying to do is cut fat.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
Rick and Tommy both laughed.
“Rick, mind if I give this a try? I always like trying to get Drew to see beyond his own perspective. It's funny, he's quite good at it, better than almost anyone I've known, but he's stubborn, he holds onto things and words and ideas long after they've expired.”
“Tommy, be my guest.”
“Drew, I know that this is all confusing. You're still trying to inject reality and logic into situations where they just don't work. You're trying to use the laws of physics in a universe where metaphysics are more in play. Here's the deal. You're strong, but you're not as strong as you think you are. You never have been. When you get going not many people work as hard as you do, but you often push too far, you push beyond your limitations and you end up weakening yourself. Here's another analogy. It can get murderous hot in the summer in West Columbia. The combination of heat and humidity can be dangerous, even deadly, but every week you have to mow that lawn. I haven't been watching, but I bet your approach is full bore, you start working and you don't stop until you're done. Am I right?
I nodded my head in agreement.
“And what does that get you? Sure you get done, but I bet you've felt the chill in the middle of the heat.”
Again I nodded my head in agreement.
“You push yourself to the edge of heat exhaustion, maybe a heat stroke. It gets the job done, but its dangerous. It is a gamble, and someday, don't know when, you're going to come up short. But you're stubborn, so you keep doing it. Versus taking a break. Work hard, take a break. Cool off, recover, then hit it again, but use that pattern: prepare, work, rest, prepare, work, rest over and over until you're done. If you do that you won't wind up cutting muscle and bone, when all you're trying to do is cut the fat. That's how you live. When you live, you live full bore, leaving nothing behind and one day, if you keep at it, that's exactly what will happen, you'll leave nothing behind. You can't do that, not now, not in the right now, where you got to be strong for those who need your strength. You can't do that in this new life you're headed into when you need to give your love to those who need and want your love.”
“Well said, Tommy, well said. A lot of words to say it, but well said.”
“Thank you, Rick. I appreciate the kudos and I appreciate the subtle sarcasm. Now, as for Drew, did that help much?”
“I don't know if there is anything that can be said right now that's going to help.”
Rick spoke this time. “That's not the main reason we're here. If we can provide some help that's a side benefit. You asked for an explanation, Tommy gave it a good shot. For right now, the main thing you need to know is I'm okay, Tommy's okay, so is your Dad. That's why you saw Tommy years ago, that's why you saw your Dad after he died, that's why you are seeing me. We're okay, don't worry about us. Take care of yourself and others in that world you insist is the real world. One last thing: death is not the worst thing.”
The field began to fade away but before it all went dark I heard Tommy say “And quit thinking you got control over this shit. You don't.”
I woke up. Sam was sleeping by the door to our bedroom, keeping guard. Buster was sound asleep by Ann. I went to the bathroom and washed my face. It was 4:00 am, no point in trying to go back to sleep. It was going to be a long, hard day.
I thought back on the dream and Rick's last words: “death is not the worst thing.” The words seemed familiar, felt like I heard them a long time before but I can't say for sure. Hmm, death may not be the worst thing, but I don't see much good in it.
The trip to Odessa was uneventful. I drove my rental car from the airport to the Anders' house and was there by 11:00. I knocked on the door and Mr. Anders welcomed me in. Mrs. Anders was sitting at the kitchen table with Robert. Robert looked up, saw me, stood up and walked over to me, offering his hand. I took it.
“Drew, thanks, Didn't expect you so soon.”
“My first stop.”
Mrs. Anders smiled, stood up and gave me a good hug. “Thank you, Drew. How's your beautiful Ann? Is she at your mother's house?”
“She didn't come. She's five months pregnant and we didn't think the long drive or the flight would be good for her and the baby. She sends her condolences. Rick meant a lot to her.”
“Oh, my, that's wonderful. That's just wonderful! You two will be wonderful parents. George, isn't that the way it is? The Lord takes something away, but He always gives back, He always gives back. He took Rick away, but he's blessed Ann and Drew.”
The tears of joy turned to sadness and there was nothing I could say or do to make a difference.
Mr. Anders, or George as Mrs. Anders called him, broke the uncomfortable feeling that was growing with Mrs. Anders' sobs.
“Drew, I've been looking over Rick's papers in his room and I think I understand most of what is there, but would you look them over? You were such a help before.”
“Yes, sir, I will. Robert, have you looked at them?”
“Briefly, but let's look at them closer together. Dad, why don't you stay here with Mom?”
The two of us walked back to Rick's room. His desk from VP Tanks was against a wall and spread upon it were papers.
“I've sorted things out some. On this side are the insurance papers, on the other side are papers to do with the properties Rick bought. In the middle are bank, investment and other papers. Then, over here on the bed is a copy of his will.”
“Let's start with the will.”
Nothing out of the ordinary with the will. His estate was split between his parents and Robert.
“Robert, did you notice that he's made you executor of his estate?”
“Yeah, and that I am to manage the portion he's willed to Mom and Dad.”
“All right, we know who gets his estate. Let's look at what he has.”
Rick's life insurance totaled up to $400,000. His savings and checking accounts at National Bank of Odessa totaled up to another $176,000. According to his records, Rick has continued investing with Fidelity Magellan up until the summer of 1987 then had moved all but $10,000 to municipal bonds. That part of his portfolio added up to a little over $300,000. Finally, his dabbling in real estate consisted of eleven houses in Odessa, Midland and Andrews, every one he owned out right.
“Robert, You read the papers, what do you think of Rick's estate?”
“He's done damn well. Much better than I ever knew. Add everything up, insurance, real estate, cash, investments, it comes to well over a million.”
“I would say the same thing.”
“Good, I didn't know what to think of it at first, whether to believe it or not. Just curious, are you doing as good as he is?”
“No, not as good. I'm okay, but the crash of '87 hurt me some. Rick got out of stocks just in time, I didn't. But I'm working, and I haven't tapped into my VP Tanks money for a few years. The house in Austin is paid for and I'll have the house in West Columbia paid off in five years. Shit, I should have been talking to Rick about finances the last few years. Looks like he would have made me some money.”
“That's why I wanted you to look at the papers. I thought I knew what it meant, but I wasn't sure. I never expected this. Um, did you notice what was mixed in the bank and investment papers?”
“The endowments to Odessa College, UTPB and Ector County ISD? Yeah, I noticed. The way he had things set up, he's been funding them $10,000 a year each since 1987. What are you going to do about that?”
“Keep it going as long as I can.”
“Have you talked to Kevin, our accountant? He should be able to help you with that. You ought to also talk with my Uncle Bill. He’s been in the banking business for years and is the one who made sure we invested our money from VP Tanks. I'm here until Wednesday morning. We can visit him before I leave and I'll see him this weekend.”
“That will be good. All right, so the basic news is that Rick took good care of Mom, Dad and me. Let's tell my Dad.”
We did. Mr. Anders shook his head, smiled and said “That boy, he hardly ever spent anything on himself. To leave all of that to us and to you, Robert, I just don't know. I just don't know.”
I had been thinking about how Rick had built up his portfolio and an idea of what to do with it came to mind.
“Mr. Anders, this house is paid for isn't it?”
“Yes, Drew, it is.”
“You don't have much debt, do you?”
“Very little. What are you thinking about?”
“I have an idea, just an idea. If you like it, we can figure out the details and get my uncle involved. Set up a foundation in Rick's name. You, your wife and Robert will run it. Fund it with roughly half of Rick's cash and insurance. The other half goes to the three of you to do what you will. Take the profit from the rental property, that looks to be a few thousand a month, and roll that into the foundation. With Kevin's and Uncle Bill's advice, get the money working for the foundation, then give the money to charity. Let the foundation be a true non-profit. Don't forget that almost any expense is deductible and that you will be doing good while making a killing off of taxes.”
No one said anything at all, then Mrs. Anders, who had been listening quietly, began to cry again. Robert was the first to speak.
“Drew, you sounded just like Rick. 'Doing good while making good' is what he called it.”
Mr. Anders nodded his head in agreement with Robert as Robert continued to talk.
“We talked on the phone every week, long, long calls, at least an hour, sometimes two. We've never been closer than we were since he woke up nearly three years ago. He would talk about anything, lots of times we would talk about sports, but every time, every time, he would talk about 'doing good while making good,' about using the gifts you have to make things better, but to always make sure your use your gifts to shore up your foundation, because if you don't you end up, hmm, how did he say it?”
I thought back to the field dream of last night and said “You end up cutting muscle and bone when all you meant to cut was fat.”
“Yeah, that's it! He told you about this, didn't he?”
“Yeah, he did.” I just didn't tell them that Rick told me this in a dream after he was dead and that another dead friend explained to me what Rick meant. I didn't see any point in telling them that.
All at the table liked the idea, Rick's parents felt this would be a good legacy for Rick's life, making something good out of his death. I told them I would talk to my Uncle Bill this weekend.
Later that afternoon I drove to my Mom's house, let myself in, called her at work to let her know I was in town and spent some time with Brutus. I also called Uncle Bill at work and told him about the foundation idea. He liked it and suggested that my Mom and I join Aunt Sherry and him for dinner that night at Odessa Country Club. That caused me to call my Mom back and tell her about dinner at the country club, which caused her to complain she didn't have anything nice enough to wear. I convinced her that she would be fine. She would be home by 5:15 pm and we would meet them for cocktails and dinner at 6:00 pm.
I had some time before Mom came home. I drove to SouthWestern Tank. Things had changed since I had last been there. Matt had built a sales office next to the shop office. I walked into the sales office first and asked for Matt. He came walking out of his office with a sad look on his face.
“Drew, I saw the notice in the paper this morning. I'm terribly sorry about Rick.”
“Thanks, Matt. I'm sorry this is what it took to get me to see you again.”
We talked for a few minutes. I told him of the current plans for the service on Monday and that I would keep him up to date of any changes. We walked over to the shop office to see Ned, Jim and Carey. Pretty much said the same things. They all said they would be at the funeral on Monday.
I drove home. Mom came home from work. I put on slacks and a golf shirt and we drove out to the country club. Aunt Sherry and Uncle Bill were waiting for us in the dining room. Mom ordered a martini, I ordered a Shiner Bock and the four of us caught up on things. Everyone asked how Ann was and how she was dealing with the pregnancy. We talked about Rick and the Anders and over dinner I told them all about Rick's will, his estates and the idea for the foundation. The food was good. Not too many places know how to perfect a chicken fried steak and Odessa Country Club was one of them. The company was good as well, it was just a shame that the reason we were together was a sad one.
Next week in episode 10 of Walking Backwards Rick’s friends gather together, but Drew finds no peace in their company.
did not see it coming but not surprised...just already miss his personality